The Third Shift

  1. It must be the California native in me.

    But I don’t take kindly to strangers dispensing advice by patting me on the back in the grocery store and telling me not to stare too closely at the screen because I’ll need bifocals. HEY FUCKNOZZLE, I KNOW MY EYESIGHT IS LOUSY. I’ve had surgeries for it. Habits developed per-surgery are tough to break. I know you mean well, but fuck off.