The Third Shift

A vagabond who's made his home in the Pacific Northwest.

Mama, don’t let your kids play ball at Adidas schools.

(via Adidas Sleeve Zubaz College Basketball Uniforms Are Hideous | The Big Lead)

I was buying a cap for one of my friends as a Christmas gift at a sporting goods store and I had forgotten about people who not only flat brim but leave all the stickers on.

  • Cashier: "Do you want the spray protection to keep the colors from running? It's an extra buck."
  • Me: "$19 total, right? OK."
  • Cashier: "Sticker on or off?"
  • Me (slightly confused): "Off."
  • Cashier: "Thank you for being an adult."

Apparently Robyn Lawler, looking like this at 6’2” (my height) is a “plus-size” model.

We need to torch the fashion industry to the ground and start again. Applying the label “plus-size” to what appears to be a normally proportioned person (for whatever that means to you) is insane.

I…I…oh, Notre Dame fans, even you don’t deserve this kind of uniform FAIL. Just bring the kelly green back and everything will be okay.

(It gets worse when you look at the entire gallery of the uniforms for the Irish’s game against the Miami Hurricanes. When it comes to uniform design, Adidas is basically trying to rip off Nike and doing it very, very poorly.)

Russell, coral pants are not a bad idea in and of themselves. They’re certainly better than that fishing lure shirt you wore after a presser earlier in the playoffs. But coral pants with cargo pockets? NO. TAKE THAT RIGHT BACK TO WHEREVER YOU BOUGHT THEM.

Also, nicer shoes, please. You don’t wear coral pants with straight up black sneakers. Either wear sneakers that go with the shirt or put on a nice pair of dress shoes.

(via the Big Lead)

Wesley Morris explains perfectly what it means to see Craig Sager’s sideline fashion and think that it works even though it’s hideous.

(via Craig Sager’s Suits and Sideline Sartorial Disasters - Grantland)


New men’s and women’s US national team jerseys by Nike. Like?

I have been screaming out loud for the MNT and WNT to have a similar kit aesthetic. I am not the biggest fan of hoops, but this looks classy and is a major step in the right direction.

I watched last night’s premiere in a crowded theater. Everyone booed this sport coat, with damn good reason. It’s like douche coloring, the equivalent of Ed Hardy or Affliction in our time.

(Also, if you hadn’t noticed already, Mondays are official “Mad Men Appreciation Days” here at The Third Shift, just like Wednesdays are “Justified Appreciation Days.” If you have a problem, I can’t help you.)

Note to Adidas: just because Nike pulls stuff like this for football doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.


Tina Fey won Best Dressed by a country mile. All of y’all pretending like it was Rooney Mara or Michelle Williams, just stop. Shailene Woodley gets runner-up in the ladies category and Milla Jovovich is in third.

(Dudes wore pretty much the same generic style of tux with some variations, but I would advise Jonah Hill to avoid bow ties since he’s gained some of the weight he lost back.)

(Source: BuzzFeed)



Just convinced myself I need these even though I never wear cuff links.

None more swag.

Merely the beginning of Nigel Tufnel’s fashion line. You gotta take your wardrobe to eleven if you want to be a baller these days.

H&M to release Lisbeth Salander clothing line - MSN Entertainment News

The headline is slightly unfair, it’s more like “Salander-inspired.” But the irony (or cognitive dissonance) in selling a clothing line based on a character’s fashion tastes in the American movie adaptation (since there already has been a Swedish version of the Millennium Trilogy) of a book that was written by a fairly fervent socialist and attempted stinging critiques of capitalism in the midst of a plot that revolved around some pretty gnarly rape, sexual assault, and exploitation of women (the book’s original Swedish title being Men Who Hate Women) just blows my mind. And this doesn’t even get into the fact that the character Lisbeth Salander is someone who kills and maims — largely to people who’ve wronged and abused her, but it’s not as if she’s anything remotely innocent. “Anti-heroine” is putting it lightly.

TV and film’s almost inured us to these levels of irony and/or dissonance, but there are way too many levels here to ignore without comment.

Put This On: Twenty-Five Pieces of Basic Sartorial Knowledge So You Don't Look Dumb



When I’m interviewed about Put This On, I’m almost invariably asked “what are the fashion mistakes you see men make every day?” or “what is the most basic style knowledge men often don’t have?”

That’s the kind of stuff I usually leave off this blog. After all: you’re discerning and tasteful!…

Important things

I will disagree with 23 & 24. I fucking hate sandals and love my flip-flops to death. Also, fuck bow ties, even with tuxedos. The last time I wore a bow tie was at the age of maybe 10. I refuse on the principle that most of us look like dipshits with them. 

The rest of it should be pretty much SOP.



I…I just…no. NOTHING HE’S WEARING GOES WITH ANYTHING ELSE. Did you run this by LaLa before you left the house? And even if you did, hire a goddamn stylist to get the basics together.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is a crime to let your partners walk out of the house looking like this. Someone has to step in and say “NO.”

Just because Oregon has a load of uniform choices doesn’t mean everyone should, Maryland.

(via Oregon of the East: Up-Close Looks at Maryland’s 16 New Uniform Combinations - Testudo Times)

Fixed. theme by Andrew McCarthy