Asked whether he now regretted his years of smoking and drinking, thought to be the cause of the disease, Douglas replied: “No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus.” Douglas, the husband of Catherine Zeta Jones, continued: “I did worry if the stress caused by my son’s incarceration didn’t help trigger it. But yeah, it’s a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer. And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it.”
Scientifically dubious (a sidebar dismisses this as a nice way to diminish the effect of smoking), so this is just a nice way for Douglas to say, “Well, I get to go down on Catherine Zeta-Jones and you don’t.”
That said, it’s not a terrible brag once you’ve survived cancer.
“I suppose it’s possible this is part of some other, thematically different Under Armour ad that was mostly left on the cutting-room floor. But I’m putting it at even-money that Bryce Harper actually powerlifts shirtless in the dark wearing glow-in-the-dark neon-green socks, and insisted Under Armour show him as such in the commercial.”
I think the one thing we can agree on about the Petraeus scandal is that it’s hilarious: anonymous Gmail address, FBI agent who sent shirtless photos of himself to Jill Kelley, whom Paula Broadwell apparently sent threatening e-mails to (which started the FBI investigation), and Gen. John Allen apparently sending tens of thousands of dodgy emails to Kelley.
Of course, there is all the double entendre now swept up in Broadwell and her book, but methinks a TV station should probably do a double check when grabbing the cover of All In off the interwebs. (Video here.)
So this video of 100 rock riffs played in one take by an employee at the Chicago Music Exchange is pretty freaking awesome. What’s really admirable is the order structure in order to facilitate ease, switching between standard and drop D tuning, and bringing the slide in, never mind switching with ease between effects.
That said, there are a few faults:
repetition of certain artists at the expense of adding another riff or two
not enough thrash metal (no Slayer, Pantera, Megadeth, or Anthrax)
not enough 70-80s punk riffs at all (you can’t tell me the Clash, Black Flag, Talking Heads, Television, Fugazi, etc. didn’t have riffs, because that’s not true.)
mislabeling of “Pictures of Matchstick Men” as a Camper van Beethoven riff when it was by the Status Quo